What to do with unwanted presents?

[Marigold]

I may have a problem on the horizon.
It will be my birthday next month, and my beloved husband has been dashing to the door first on several occasions and taking in mysterious parcels, as he always does as November and Christmas approaches. He's really good usually on surprise presents, is very thoughtful and imaginative, but sometimes he does get it a bit wrong. I remember the pressure washer he got me 'so I could wash the car' just a couple of weeks after we had a water meter fitted and I was in the middle of one of my periodic blitzes on living more economically and simply - which certainly didn't involve washing the car more often than once a year at most, with one bucket and a quick rinse with the hose. I would like a clean car, but since he never thinks to clean it, the task is always down to me.
Anyway, because I'm asthmatic I researched vacuum cleaners carefully when the last one died, and now have a Miele which does the job effectively and efficiently, when I can be bothered or when people are coming to stay, neither of which is very frequent. However, I did notice a largish box coming in the door last week and as it was being smuggled upstairs I couldn't help reading the printing on the side (well, OK, I could have looked the other way but I didn't.)
I am now afraid that I am about to receive one of those silly little battery- driven automatic cordless vacuums that burble round the floor in random fashion until somebody decides enough is enough and switches the damn thing off. They might work in a large empty room but I can't see them negotiating coffee tables, dining chairs and all our clutter. Upstairs on the landing it would fall down the stairs. What I would really like, of course, is for him to do a share of the vacuuming, using the machine chosen for the purpose, but after 50 years of happy marriage I've given up on that one. So how do I respond when unwrapping this object? Should I brace myself for a show of delighted surprise? Or do I come clean, say I think it's a total waste of money, leave it in its box and hope to get a refund? Or has anybody got one and thinks its fantastic?
Any ideas, my friends?

 

[Sue]

Or do I come clean, say I think it's a total waste of money, leave it in its box and hope to get a refund? Or has anybody got one and thinks its fantastic?
Any ideas, my friends?

Marigold, I'm so sorry, but I've been laughing so much at your post - it's made my evening!!!!!! I particularly liked the ending of your post where you ask 'do I come clean' :lol: What can I say!

Seriously though perhaps you haven't been dropping the right hints! You ought to start several weeks ahead really and start saying things like 'that's nice' 'I would LOVE that' 'isn't that NICE' 'I really need one of those' etc etc etc.

Perhaps it's one of those new Dyson thingies with the very long handle with a brush on the end and the minutest dust collection area I've ever seen! What with 3 dogs and a messy husband (and, like you, only doing the hoovering when ABSOLUTELY necessary, I would have to empty it at least 100 times just hoovering the downstairs!

Aren't those thingies that go round on their own supposed to negotiate table legs etc? Maybe you could train it to clean up the chicken poo!!!

Sorry I can't be more help! But I hope he's kept the receipt!

 

[Marigold]

Oh yes, of course I do that as well! He gets in a real panic come August if I haven't provided him with a birthday come Christmas list, problem is, I find it hard to think of enough useless things for him to buy for me, and I would prefer to research the useful things myself, and anyway he doesn't like buying me 'useful' things (unless they're vacuum cleaners of course.) He's lovely, a big romantic even after all these years, so I'd hate to be tactless. In days gone by, I once made the fatal error of suggesting maybe I had enough black silk nighties with slits up the sides and draughty necklines that I didn't actually find comfortable to wear because they wouldn't tuck round my knees in bed at night. This did cause some upset, so I suppose if I get a lovely new vacuum cleaner I had better go for the delighted surprise option.....

 

[Margaid]

Oh my goodness Marigold, I recognoze so much of this!!

I can sympathise with your desire to have him do his share of the vacuuming. We'll soon be clocking up 40 years and I've realised he JUST ISN'T going to do it. I think when we first got the Dyson - to clean up the cat hair, he used it once, or at least a bit to demonstrate how I should use it. Similarly if the cars get cleaned it's nearly always me that cleans them. When the barns are finished I'm going to have a central vac with "dust pan" fittings on the skirting. Most floors will be hard so a quick sweep with the brush, a press of the toe on the switch and, provided I've remembered to switch the thing on, the dust will just disappear. Of course eventually the central dust collector will need emptying...

He did once suggest one of those robotic cleaners - I think they are quite good at avoiding furniture and there's a way of teaching them where the stairs are. One advantage is you could set it going, go out to see your girls and maybe it will have done it's job when you come back in! He's obviously trying to save you having to do a job you dislike, and which presumably he dislikes too?

We gave up buying each other presents because we had both suffered in our youth from totally inappropriate, or worse "just missing the mark" presents. It's sooooooo difficult when they get excited thinking they've found just what you need - when it's the last thing you want. In my case it was my dad who did that, which I could cope with if the gift was sent (from 250 miles away), but when they're there in the room with you!!! :roll:

Just had a lightbulb moment!! Maybe you could find an advert for one and show it to him, saying you think they're a waste of time and you're quite happy with your Miele thank you. That would give him the chance to send it back within the "return period". Then you could try Sue's idea of hint dropping if there's time.

On the other hand, maybe he'll find it such fun to play with that he'll do the vacuuming! ( where's my gun, I need some pork chops for lunch tomorrow).

It's one hell of a dilemma - do you say things like "Darling it's a fabulous idea but anything other than the Miele makes my asthmas worse? If not, maybe you'll just have to grin and bear it I think.

 

[tygrysek75]

If it is robotic vacuum cleaner,send it back as they total waist of money.They only works on comercials but not in real peoples houses.You can't get better than Miele in this country.I know of 1 beter vacuum cleaner than Miele and it is Rainbow-from USA-it has water based dirt collecting system and is fantastic and I know this as I run cleaning company and had plesure of using one many years ago.

 

[chrismahon]

Thanks Marigold, you have reminded me. Hope Rosie wants a new electric chainsaw- I was asked to teach her how to use them yesterday? Could that have been a hint?

 

[Sue]

We took in a delivery the other day for our neighbour whilst they were out. It was a big box and it said on the side 'black food mixer'. When our neighbour came home (the male half of the household), we told him we had it and he said 'Oh good, that's Heather's Christmas present'. She's probably going to be in the same position as you Marigold!!

I think you're right, you're just going to accept it with surprise and gratitude! Maybe it's not what you think and all your worrying will be for nothing!

 

[Margaid]

Mind you, for his Golden Wedding Anniversary present my dad WANTED a Dyson cleaner. He had become quite domesticated, which was just as well as my mother's health was failing, and had taken to baking like a duck to water. His Welsh cakes just melted in the mouth

 

[Sue]

Actually Marigold, if you don't want it, I'll have it! Mine is literally falling apart and is at least 10 years old. Heaven knows what state it would be in if I used it more often!!!!! Second thoughts, if you keep the new one and I'll buy the Miele from you as they're supposed to be the best for dog hair!!!!

Just a thought!

 

[Marigold]

The problem isn't what to do with it, Sue, it's telling him how I feel about it - or having to pretend the above-mentioned delighted surprise, whilst having no intention of ever actually using the blessed thing. Since I'm among friends, I confess to accidentally reading the model number on the box when I accidentally went into his sacrosanct workshop today, (the box was standing in the open in the middle of the floor, so I couldn't help reading it) and looking up the reviews on Amazon. Mostly 4 and 5 star, surprisingly enough, but am not convinced, at around £250. I hope he never takes up chicken keeping and wants to join the Forum or I shall be toast.
He's in bed today with severe sickness and vomiting overnight - not my cooking, a viral inner ear infection according to the doc, which will go away on its own within two days to two weeks, and until it does, he cant drive and will feel permanently travel sick. At least it's not norovirus, which I had supposed was the trouble, so maybe I shall escape, though if I do catch it I shall think its my guilty karma working itself out. We were supposed to be going to stay the weekend with my daughter, but are both very glad to be riding this one out here at home. House now extremely clean, all surfaces disinfected, and my trusty Miele pressed into service throughout!

 

[Sue]

Hi Marigold, yes, I know your problem is how to 'receive' the gift, but I was just having a joke about rehoming your Miele!

At £250 for your birthday present I think I would just be grateful whatever it was!!! My husband wouldn't dream of spending anything near that amount!

I have to sympathise with your husband though and his inner ear infection (sounds like Labyrinthitis) as I have Meniere's disease, which is a lifetime condition with very similar symptoms, which I can get at any time, without any warning! It also causes gradual hearing loss. It's not very likely that you will catch it from him though, it's not like a cold or flu virus. I hope he feels better soon.

When is your birthday by the way?

 

[belleisa]

Hi
Oh yes I know that feeling
My answer would be to act surprised, look really interested and say , "wow thank you , it certainly is an interesting present"
Then a few weeks later let him down gently, but by which time you might even find it an interesting object and not have too.
These days like last week I started making suggestions , ie hm that iPad 3 looks very nice, even though I have the iPad 1 I would love to upgrade, and another year I found an amazing ring for him to buy me.
Like you I have had some great presents and some not so great, but after 37 years together and your 40 years you will know how to react at the time
Good luck

 

[Icemaiden]

Hi Marigold.
A bit late for this year, but an idea for next year...
I've learned to pre-empt my husband by telling him exactly what I want, or buying it myself! This year I'm getting a 2nd hand coop; it's already in the back garden ;-) Mind you, it does mean that I don't get many surprises, but it saves getting an iron or a cutlery set with forks big enough to dig the garden...

Hope your husband's on the mend & that if it IS labyrinthitis, it passes quickly. The version that stays for life isn't much fun.

 

[Margaid]

OK, so today is the big day! What happened? Which mysterious box was your birthday pressie?

Do let us know what happened, please.!!

 

[Marigold]

Well, as usual there was a lovely pile of prezzies, and a cup of tea in bed whilst I opened them, including Electric Quilt 7 (patchwork quilt design software which will keep me VERY happily occupied through the winter) and some other desirable items. The last box was very large- and heavy - especially when it was accidentally dropped on my outstretched shins. Tony is brilliant at wrapping stuff up so you have to take a hammer and chisel to parcels to get through the sellotape sealing in the wrapping paper, (whereas when I was a little girl in the 1940s it was a sin to tear wrapping paper because it had to be re-saved and ironed for use next time. My only problems then were undoing the knots in the string, yes I can remember sellotape being invented, along with those newfangled polythene bags we used to wash and reuse.) However I unwrapped this very carefully as I didn't want to damage the box underneath.....
Anyway, I had been practising my 'surprised and delighted amazement' face, and I thought I'd done a pretty good job, under the circumstances (those being that I'm not a very good actress.) I didn't unpack the Item, just opened the lid to look in wonder at all the gizmos in the box, ie as well as the vacuum, a docking bay, attachments etc. and remarked that I would need to read the instructions carefully later on in the day. So after breakfast we took the dog for a walk as usual, and he said 'I don't mind if you want to send it back, you know' and after a friendly discussion, and as he obviously didn't mind, that is what I did. Thank goodness he got it from wonderful Lakeland - nice lady on the phone was very understanding, said his card would be refunded immediately and a messenger from the Gods would collect it for free next week. And Tony even did the vacuuming this morning, dear man, using the perfectly suitable existing cleaner!
So now I've been told to scrub up by 5.00p.m. ready to be taken out for Birthday Treat. What a lovely day!

 

[foxy]

So alls well that ends well.. so what will you have instead? Dare I ask...

 

[Marigold]

Well, the refund would well cover an iPad mini for Christmas.....

 

[belleisa]

That is a great idea, iPad mini.
Good choice

 

[Sue]

Sorry it's a bit late, but Happy Birthday! I'm glad it all turned out ok in the end. Hope you were taken somewhere nice this evening and had an amazing time!