Know any poultry jokes?

Why were the rooster's feet always trumpeting?

Because they were attached to leghorns.
 
How do chickens keep their feathers neat?

They use their combs.


What kind of music does a barred chicken like?

Plymouth Rock.
 
Why did the chicken tap off menu items with its beak?

It was placing a pecking order.
 
Why did the chicken DEFIANTLY cross the road?

It was daring someone to tell that worn-out old joke again.
 
What can a chicken expect to make after graduating in maths?

A poultry sum.

You've got me at it now dinosaw (apart from the Halloween theme)

Why did the hen fail her maths GCSE?
She couldn't find eggs!
 
Sorry Rick!. It's really hard to come up with your own jokes I find, the Poultrygeist one wasn't mine. I have had to go down the road of different breeds for these and they have probably all been done before but it kept my mind busy while raking an endless sea of leaves this afternoon.

Why will no one play hide and seek with a bantam?

Because they always find them Pekin.


Why did the black and gold German chicken cross the road?

Because it was looking Vorwerk.



What is the highest rank you can hold in the church of Gallus gallus

ArchPekin.


What was the name of the chicken who was able to escape any run built by man, no matter how secure it was meant to be?

Harry Houdani


And you will be glad to hear that my last offering is.


Why aren't chickens allowed to earn money playing football?

Because a professional fowl is against the rules of the game.
 
Archpekin! :) Very good!

How did chickens communicate during the war?
They used morse croad.
 
:lol:

Yeah, but do you know how they learned to use it?

They had expert Cochin.
 
A man and his pet chicken walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my chicken." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the chicken falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a chicken."
 
A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint and cheese ploughman's, then sits down at a table and starts reading the paper.
next day duck goes back into pub and orders a pint and burger and chips, sits down and starts doing crossword in paper.
The barman goes over with the meal and says
"we don't get many talking ducks in here"
Duck replies " I expect not I am working on the building site opposite"

A few days later the circus rolls into town and the ringmaster visits the pub
The barman tells him all about the talking duck that can drink beer, read the paper and do the crossword.

The ringmaster hands over a card and says that if ever the duck wants a job to get in touch with him

Next day the duck comes in and the barman excitedly tells him that the circus want to give him a job

The duck looks at him and says "circus, thats the big canvas tent, with a wooden pole in the middle and guy ropes right?"

The barman concurs, to which the duck replies

"Why on Earth would they want a plasterer?"
 
That's a hum dinger! :) And a rare 'goes into a pub' joke as it only works for ducks. (being equipped but not a credible trade for swans somehow!)
 
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