How Big is Your No Deal Brexit Food Stash?

I know someone who, amongst their other duties, has been in charge of facilities for several large and very well known companies. They therefore get all of the reports of weird behaviour involving the head office staff toilets. The really bizarre stuff always seems to occur in the ladies. Serial toilet blocking by stuffing entire rolls down the loo, smearing of excrement on the walls, and the oddest of all, taking a plop on the seat and decorating it!!!!. The mind boggles.
 
Hen-Gen said:
Bizarre! The secrets of female urination.
I have a male acquaintance here who always kneels before the toilet in my house when he urinates so we can’t hear the tinkling sound. I think it’s time some psychologist wrote a book on the whole subject of toilet neurosis.
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May one enquire whether he has particularly long legs? or has he perfected the art of hosing the stream up and over the rim?
Has he ever thought about simply sitting down?
Asking for a friend ....
 
dinosaw said:
I know someone who, amongst their other duties, has been in charge of facilities for several large and very well known companies. They therefore get all of the reports of weird behaviour involving the head office staff toilets. The really bizarre stuff always seems to occur in the ladies. Serial toilet blocking by stuffing entire rolls down the loo, smearing of excrement on the walls, and the oddest of all, taking a plop on the seat and decorating it!!!!. The mind boggles.
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Decorating it - with what? ??? :o
 
Marigold said:
Hen-Gen said:
I think it’s time some psychologist wrote a book on the whole subject of toilet neurosis.
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See this interesting article;
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-25/edition-6/toilet-psychology

Yes, that was interesting. Heavy reading mind you.
I liked the use of latrinalia to describe toilet graffiti. No modern home can be considered to be stylish without contemporary latrinalia. Perhaps a career choice for Banksy.
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Hen-Gen said:
Bizarre! The secrets of female urination.
I have a male acquaintance here who always kneels before the toilet in my house when he urinates so we can’t hear the tinkling sound. I think it’s time some psychologist wrote a book on the whole subject of toilet neurosis.
Click to expand...

Hengen, why doesn't he just sit on the toilet? I never understand why men feel the need stand and urinate. Also, there is a saying, which might be why your friends feels the need to kneel down.... the louder the tinkling noise, the smaller the 'equipment'. :-)10 :lol:
 
Tweetypie said:
Hen-Gen said:
Bizarre! The secrets of female urination.
I have a male acquaintance here who always kneels before the toilet in my house when he urinates so we can’t hear the tinkling sound. I think it’s time some psychologist wrote a book on the whole subject of toilet neurosis.
Click to expand...

Hengen, why doesn't he just sit on the toilet? I never understand why men feel the need stand and urinate. Also, there is a saying, which might be why your friends feels the need to kneel down.... the louder the tinkling noise, the smaller the 'equipment'. :-)10 :lol:
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I’m not going there. He’s not that a gooda friend! ??
 
We used to get problems with broken loo seats at work when we had visitors from Asia. I don't know who worked out what was happening (hopefully no cctv!) but it transpired that, being used to a hole in the floor to squat over, the visitors were balancing their shoes on the loo seat & squatting. Their high heels were breaking the seats... Heaven help them when they needed a no' 2!!!
 
Icemaiden said:
We used to get problems with broken loo seats at work when we had visitors from Asia. I don't know who worked out what was happening (hopefully no cctv!) but it transpired that, being used to a hole in the floor to squat over, the visitors were balancing their shoes on the loo seat & squatting. Their high heels were breaking the seats... Heaven help them when they needed a no' 2!!!
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Memories of Delhi airport during the hajj come flooding back, not enough squat toilets to go round and so the "western" toilets ended up taking a beating, not a pretty sight and a bit stressful when you have been suffering from food poisoning yourself, thank god for immodium which I ended up taking a bit earlier than I had originally planned.
 
Not to mention concrete enema's :o :o :o
I kid you not, several hospitals have produced papers relating to strange things removed from people, one involved a pair who decide to make a cast of the colon, somehow they poured concrete up there blocked it off with a ping pong ball. Of course once it set they couldn't remove it. So a trip to A & E was involved where it had to be removed under anesthesia, the patient made a full recovery with no damage mainly due to the wonderful mucal lining of the colon, and the proctologist proudly has the concrete cast as a paperweight
 
bigyetiman said:
Not to mention concrete enema's :o :o :o
I kid you not, several hospitals have produced papers relating to strange things removed from people, one involved a pair who decide to make a cast of the colon, somehow they poured concrete up there blocked it off with a ping pong ball. Of course once it set they couldn't remove it. So a trip to A & E was involved where it had to be removed under anesthesia, the patient made a full recovery with no damage mainly due to the wonderful mucal lining of the colon, and the proctologist proudly has the concrete cast as a paperweight
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Bloody hell!!!. Mind you, that must have hurt like hell from the cement burns. They are bad enough on your external parts.
 
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