A Joke!

jubilee

jubilee

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My friend is trying to help cheer me up today, and has just sent this, thought i'd share, it made me giggle!

A young man takes his new girlfriend home to meet his parents, when the young girl excuses herself to use the bathroom, the lads Dad turns to him and says,
''She's a keeper son.''
The young lad says, ''Ahh, Dad, what makes you say that?'' he smiled,
His Dad replys,''She stinks of elephant poo!''
:lol: :lol: :lol:
JubesXX
 
:lol:

taken from a friend:

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's

:-)10
 
Ha,ha,ha :lol: :lol: :lol:
If we are sharing jokes I let you know what happened to my friend;
OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi !, how are you ?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to ?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here !". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions"
I was :lol: :lol: :lol: my head off when I heard this :mrgreen:
 
tygrysek75 said:
Ha,ha,ha :lol: :lol: :lol:
If we are sharing jokes I let you know what happened to my friend;
OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi !, how are you ?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to ?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here !". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions"
I was :lol: :lol: :lol: my head off when I heard this :mrgreen:
Click to expand...

Thank you! Just choked on a cup fof tea! :D :D :D
 
tygrysek75 said:
Ha,ha,ha :lol: :lol: :lol:
If we are sharing jokes I let you know what happened to my friend;
OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi !, how are you ?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to ?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here !". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions"
I was :lol: :lol: :lol: my head off when I heard this :mrgreen:
Click to expand...

:lol: Brilliant!
 
Well this happened earlier in the year... :oops:
I was in the garden trying to find one of my muscovies Maggie, when I heard the characteristic "squeak" of a broody duck. Maggie had found a disused chicken house and had made a nest. Sighing I bent down to try and coax her out..not noticing a broken spade had fallen across the entrance...you guessed it! I called her again..she hopped out..onto the handle spade...and the next thing I remember was the stars!!! :roll: :oops:
 
man: I spent an hour at my wifes grave this morning........

Bless her........... she still thinks I am digging a pond....


My OH has just read this out to me...after he had recovered from his paroxyms of laughter...should I be worried?? He has just finished digging out another duck pond... :shock: :shock:
 
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