The mouths of babes...!

[LadyA]

Yesterday, I went with dau and her two little boys (just turned 3 and 4 months) for an outing. Mostly, it was to give the 3 yr old a trip on a train, because he's currently obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, and all the other engines, carriages, etc. in that series. He can identify every one, and knows what they do. Anyway, we went on a short trip, to a large shopping centre, which has two, free, soft play areas for kids.

So, I was sitting in one area with the 3 yr old sitting beside me, eating a snack. Suddenly, in that glass shattering shriek that only a 3 yr old can do, he yells "HEY LOOK! SOMEBODY IS IN A WHEELCHAIR!" Sure enough, there was a woman passing by in a wheelchair.

 

[Marigold]

Ha ha! Reminded me of when, waiting in a shop queue, 3-y.o. daughter looked long and hard at pregnant woman, then asked, loudly, "Why is that lady so fat, mummy?"

 

[Tweetypie]

Love this!!
I bet we could all contribute to a funny book with all the things our children/grandchildren have said.
I recall my then 6 or 7 year old Son coming home from school announcing he had "spaghetti bollocks" for lunch... the same Son who walked past an Indian looking man and shouted "look Mummy, he's wearing a turbo on his head". 01

 

[bigyetiman]

My daughter was sitting on a bus with her mother aged about 4, and the lady in front had a rather large hairdo, and Sarah reached forward and grabbed it, and yelled loudly "look mummy the lady's hair lifts off". The poor woman was wearing a wig. I think the woman was slightly less embarrassed than my wife was

 

[LadyA]

The son of one of dau's friends walked up to a black man in the street and gave him his crisps. Because he'd seen ads about famine relief on TV!

Sent from my Moto G Play using Tapatalk

 

[Icemaiden]

The little girl who lived next door to us in our previous house came up to me once while I was weeding the (open plan) front garden. She looked me in the eye and asked "Have you got a lawn mower?"
"Yes", I replied, wondering if her parents had sent her to borrow it.
"Why don't you use it then?" she asked... Speechless!

 

[bigyetiman]

A Liverpudlian friend of ours had a bus stop right outside their front door. She was at the front cleaning windows when the side gate slammed shut so she rang the doorbell and then shouted through the letterbox for her son aged 4 to "come and let mummy in", this went on for a couple of minutes by which time the people at the bus stop were all paying attention to this potentially entertaining situation developing. The door opened and her son in broad scouse yelled "I was on the bloody toilet"

 

[LadyA]

Many years ago, when I lived in the US, I once went to visit a friend. Her 4 yr old answered the door, and I asked "Is your mom here?" "Yes." he said solemnly. "She's sitting on the potty, doing something."

 

[dianefairhall]

These are really keeping me entertained! No children here so sorry, can't contribute.

 

[bigyetiman]

Been talking at work about these, and a colleague said his daughter was a bit confused with words starting with "f" and would point at plants and go "blower" fish would be "bish" etc, so they would go "no Lisa, it's flower with heavy emphasis on the "F" they did this with every word where she put a "B" in front, all went well until they went past an ironmongers and she pointed at an array of buckets hanging up and yelled "ooh look f**kits"

 

[Margaid]

I love these, they give me a good giggle. Sorry I can't contribute ...

 

[bigyetiman]

Always remember one in a church magazine. The vicar asked the children what they had learnt about Easter, after Bible class. One little boy piped up " well Judas liked meat". Somewhat mystified the vicar asked him why he thought that and the child replied "he sold Jesus for 30 pieces of liver"

 

[LadyA]

Today, while helping little grandson in the bathroom, I got "I'm doing a big poo! A REALLY big one. Maybe it will be the biggest poo in the whole world!" [emoji23] And also (because he was helping his dad plant fruit trees in the garden) " nanny, I think I will plant you in the ground! Then you will grow, and I will eat you up, with pears!" [emoji23][emoji23]

Sent from my Moto G Play using Tapatalk

 

[Marigold]

Found in the Guardian letters page;

" Many years ago my grandson came home from school very keen to sing a new hymn he’d learned: “Dance, then, wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dark settee.” Still makes us smile."

 

[MrsBiscuit]

OH did used to sing '....I am the lord of the dance settee' when he was a lad. I used to sing 'Strawberry Beret' by Prince until I met OH and he pointed out the error of my ways. My eldest niece burst into tears the first time she ate a boiled egg from one of her hens. 'Whatever is the matter?' asked a concerned parent. 'I've broken it, and killed it' said the child.

 

[Marigold]

When daughter had just started school there was a naughty boy in the Infants who was vigorously told off in public by the head teacher for swearing in Assembly. Daughter was nearly in tears with worry - ' I DO TRY really hard not to sway in Assembly but it's very hard to stand absolutely still.'