If pets kept a diary...

The place to chat, fluff your feathers, and let off steam!
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Marigold
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Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Marigold » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:03 pm

Iris here. I'm in the nestbox, hiding from Nigella, pretending to lay an egg but secretly online, tucking our phone under my feathers. I just want to share my worries about what's happening here.
Let's face it, a week ago three of us disappeared suddenly and haven't come back. That night, I peeped out of the coop after the human had taken the last one and I saw her pushing a wheelbarrow loaded with three sealed plastic body bags. We have been told all sorts of stories about 'rainbow bridges', 'trips to the Brahmas' and 'a good life in the hereafter,' but I'm an atheist and I don't believe any of that religious claptrap. I keep trying to convince Nigella that our fate hangs in the balance, but she won't listen or help. I've managed to lay two eggs this week - it was a struggle, but I did my best - and I do cosy up to the human when she arrives every afternoon with the treats, because I can see she responds to a bit of love and affection and anyway, she is good at stroking feathers. Nigella says I'm suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. She won't try to lay an egg or get friendly with the human, because she thinks, probably quite rightly, that this behaviour will ensure our speedy trip to the Brahmas, which is her aim in life at the moment.
I hope we do stay here and get some immigrants, it would be good to have a wider social circle than just the two of us, with other youngsters to do all the hard work of egg production. Now Lily has gone, Nigella is getting very bossy, hence my need to post this in secret. What do you think? Is my strategy best, or is Nigella right after all?
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rick
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Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by rick » Fri Feb 14, 2020 11:01 pm

Hi Iris. Pom here - practising my typing skills as, if Linden keeps demanding minuets by the morning then Im going to have to do better than 10 pecks a minute!
Have to agree with Nigella so far as not trusting the human as far as you could throw them - we CLBs quite like our human but it can keep its hands to itself, thank you very much! I'm impressed that you have managed to lay a couple of eggs this week. We are supposed to be on strike but, secretly, I would love to be back in the nest box and re-arranging the straw. Somehow the feeling hasn't arrived yet, even though we have had some serious winds of change!
Stick with it Iris! You've got to keep an eye on Nigella when the newbies arrive (they will be clueless teenagers into JPop and stuff) and the spring is just around the corner. Oh! It will be so good to be sunbathing on the back step again!
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Tweetypie
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Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Tweetypie » Sat Feb 15, 2020 10:38 am

Dear Iris, it's Mabel here. I'm the Queen at Cluckingham Palace here in Notts. I just had a thought when you mentioned you saw 3 plastic bags in the wheel barrow. Could it be that the girls were put in a waterproof cagoules, ready for their trip to Iceland? I've heard it is very cold there, infact everything is frozen. Even turkeys are sent there. Must be a nice place, as lots of families seem to go and come back with bags of goodies. One little girl was heard to say they did chicken drum sticks, which I thought Barbie would love, as she likes tapping on our toy drum.
I wouldn't worry too much, because either holiday sounds great, whether you're being "roasted to death" in the Brahmas or "frozen to death" in Iceland, metaphorically speaking, of course.
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