Coronavirus

From a FaceBook group called Dad Joke to see us through the Hard Times. Marigold and I can see the funny side but ...

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £5 note.
Our total was £4.25, so I also handed her 25p.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a pound coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25p, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75p in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....
 
Loved the one about the change. I've tried to do that, too, but their tills tell them how much change to give. I suppose there is no way round it now but shopkeepers always used to say 'have you got the odd 5p,' or whatever. Nobody can do numbers any more. Remember when we used to have £-s-d? We managed OK but it would be a nightmare now.
 
I remember visiting the Weald & Downland open air museum in Singleton, Sussex, on a school trip. There was a sign up giving prices for something in £, s, d. I was the only kid in the class who understood it, as I used to get 1d pocket money when I was tiny.
 
Isn't that a lovely place Icemaiden. We had a great day out there.
We were at the Eden war camp in Yorkshire, and a recreated street had a butchers with the sign , no meat today, but taking orders for next week. A child behind us said "well why didn't people just phone for a takeaway" Some other children couldn't believe homes had a tin bath in front of the fire
A different world indeed.
 
:lol: :-)08 :-)08

We went and did our panic buying yesterday. 4 trays of winter pansies, 2 bottles of wine, some tuna, newspaper, milk. That should see us through.
We did get a few strange looks as everyone else had trolleys full. In our defence, perhaps the paper was over the top, but it was for mum
 
I find it difficult to believe I've just read/ watched this! Hancock is such a pompous idiot and it show how out of touch politicians are with the real world. I have a SIM only contract and because of ongoing problems with mobile phone signal here (we need a new mast) there is now no 3G coverage and 2G is pretty awful. So I bought a 4G phone - cost me £50.00. I had endless trouble trying to get it to work with the replacement SIM card I was sent (mine was at least 8 years old). I got so fed up I changed from EE to a network using Vodaphone - and it's only £5/month. I know my sister wouldn't be able to do what I did, she would have to pay for someone to do it for her, as would a lot of people.

And what happens if you live/socialise/shop in an area where there's no signal.??????????

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-54279370
 
And of course it’s not only whether your phone is switched on, with you, and working, in an area with good reception, but whether the infectious person’s phone is also with them and actually transmitting.
 
A lot of my friends only take their mobiles when driving any distance and don't switch them on unless they need to use them. I don't take mine when I shop locally because I just take a shopping bag and my purse. If it weren't for driving around the country on my own I wouldn't bother having one as I can text (albeit tediously) from my landline and can purchase 100 mobile minutes per month for £3.00 which is more than enough for the calls I make to mobile phones!
 
OH just has a text/calls bundle on hers no internet. All of us at work have to leave our phones in the office drawer when driving, and there they tend to stay during the day so I could be next to any infectious person, but my phone isn't. At Amazon their phones have to be in their locker during work hours. So it falls down in lots of ways
 
I can't see it helping much of Wales, unless the government stop wasting money on HS2 & spend it on phone masts in Wales instead...

I spent 2 weeks boating in Wales & didn't have a mobile signal for any of it...

And if anyone is upset by my being anti HS2, it's because I've experienced at first hand how Kent's train services have been decimated to try to force us to pay extra to use HS1. It's a curse, not an asset.
 
Why would anyone be upset at your opposition to HS2? It’s a monstrous scheme on all levels - from destruction of ancient woodlands and countryside, to further bankruptcy of the economy to no good purpose.
 
Marigold said:
Why would anyone be upset at your opposition to HS2? It’s a monstrous scheme on all levels - from destruction of ancient woodlands and countryside, to further bankruptcy of the economy to no good purpose.
Click to expand...

Hear, Hear!
 
A 300 year old Oak was felled today, not near HS2 but just to provide a service road.
We have the Lower Thames crossing not too far from us, and on a walk around some farm land today, a field that had lovely hedges with Yellowhammers galore has just been all ripped up to dig test pits, a nature reserve near by has large areas all fenced off for road widening for the project.
 
bigyetiman said:
A 300 year old Oak was felled today, not near HS2 but just to provide a service road.
We have the Lower Thames crossing not too far from us, and on a walk around some farm land today, a field that had lovely hedges with Yellowhammers galore has just been all ripped up to dig test pits, a nature reserve near by has large areas all fenced off for road widening for the project.
Click to expand...

Sickening. It just makes me so angry.
 
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