Neighbourly relations

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Marigold
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Neighbourly relations

Post by Marigold » Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:06 am

A week ago, along with all our neighbours, we got a letter from the people who live opposite to us, announcing that they were going to have a 50th birthday party. 'There will be music in the garden from 2-30, and we will switch this off at 11.00p.m., when we will ask everyone to come indoors.'
Oh dear, we thought. what we're we supposed to do about this? Go away overnight? Somewhat like those notices on motorways warning of 'Roadworks ahead' - i.e, major disruption you can't do anything about except get irritated in advance. The letter didn't have any hint of an apology, or any invitation for neighbours to come round and have a drink at the party. The arrival of portable loos suggested that plenty of beer had been ordered in.
It was far worse than we could have imagined. The 'music in the garden' consisted of a stage at one end, housing a disc jockey and two enormously powerful speakers, plus flashing lights all over the trees. It did indeed start up in the afternoon and continued relentlessly for hours on end, all through the evening, during which time the road was blocked by people parking, arriving - and presumably, in due course, pissing in the toilet. It totally permeated our house indoors, with doors and double glazed windows shut. The 'music' was the heavy metal sort consisting of a monotonous bass rhythm and no musical complexity or improvisation. I believe this type was used at full blast in Abu Graibe on suspects being tortured by the Americans, and is banned as torture under the Geneva convention.

At about 10.30, the music seemed to be getting even louder, so we walked the dog along to see what was going on through the hedge. Unbelievably, the music got louder as we got to the back garden, because some of the noise was blocked by their house facing ours. At the back, it was literally at fairground volume, hence even worse for people in the houses on that side. Through the hedge we could see the setup, music and lights - but nobody was out there dancing, and by that stage all but three of the parked cars had departed. Oh good, we thought, the party is on its last legs, the DJ has been hired until 11.00 and will want to close down and go home then. So we hunkered down and gritted our teeth and waited for 11.00. so we could go to bed.
At 11.20, we tried ringing them but they weren't answering the phone. My husband decided enough was enough and went round to ask them to turn off the music. No response to the doorbell, so he made his knuckles sore by knocking on the door,- to no avail, so he used the bottom of a bottle to bash on the door really loudly. Eventually the birthday boy appeared, in belligerent mood, and said he 'thought he had been a bit naïve when he put 11.00 on the letter' and he had no intention of stopping the music ' until at least midnight''. He then went off into a long ramble about how long he had lived there and said 'and I've got a degree in Chemistry, you know.'
So Tony came home and I rang the police, who were very helpful, except that they said they couldn't do anything 'if it was just noise', and advised us to get in touch with the Council Environmental Health dept. Despite my saying I didn't think I would get anywhere at 11.30 at night, he insisted on giving me the telephone number to ring.
Midnight eventually came. At 12.10 the music stopped. We couldn't get to sleep very well at first because it was too quiet. However, we were woken up again around 2-3 a.m by the owners of the three parked cars merrily departing. Unfortunately, there wasn't a cop car around, to breathalyse them!
Icemaiden
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by Icemaiden » Tue Sep 04, 2018 3:49 pm

Sounds as though you need to get a cockerel, Marigold...

The least your neighbours could have done was to invite you!

There used to be an annual bikers' rally at the village hall close to our house, with two days & evenings of live bands, side stalls & a beer tent. Because we live within earshot of the hall, we got a free pass to the event each year, so we got to enjoy the beer & bands. I really missed it when they stopped coming! If they hadn't invited us though, I might not have been so impressed.
Chickens are a girl's best friend (though diamonds would be nice too!)
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rick
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by rick » Tue Sep 04, 2018 5:49 pm

A degree in chemistry might be a reason but not an excuse!
The pub down the road from us used to have late nights with music from time to time. It usually involved karaoke which was amusing for a while... a short while!
bigyetiman
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by bigyetiman » Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:19 pm

Shame his degree wasn't in good manners or neighbourly relations!. If you are planning something that large involving DJ's, marquees and port a loos, how do you ever think it is a good idea to hold it in a residential area, especially as he obviously had no intention of inviting neighbours, or turning the music down at 11 pm. I would have been up at 3.45 for work, I would have taken an axe to the sound system to ensure I got a good nights sleep.
There is an airfield near us that has a pop festival every year, it was a 3 day event next year it is 4 days and they have got a music extension for next year from 12 noon until 2 30am. The people who live within spitting distance are stuck between a rock and a hard place, terrified to go away in case their properties get vandalised by festival goers roaming about, it has happened. The rest of the local populace just have to put up with the noise.
I hope he doesn't repeat the experience for his 60th. I think you were both remarkably restrained considering his appalling lack of consideration
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Marigold
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by Marigold » Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:51 pm

He was quite threatening to Tony. We did say afterwards that it would have been better for the rest of us if only he had landed a punch, then we'd have had a reason to demand action from the police! I hoped he might come round next day and apologise, once the paracetamol had kicked in, in which case all would have been forgiven. Neither of them have been seen out since.
They have lived in our road for about ten years, normal friendly neighbours. I don't want to fall out with his wife, who is lovely, has a home dog grooming business, and who will sometimes look after Poppy for us if we have to go out for a long day without her. We were chatting about the upcoming party a couple of weeks ago, and apparently the husband is part of a group of 5 male friends who were all at school together and have met up every year since for holidays and celebrations. I suppose the party was an attempt to appear young at heart at 50, but actually it just made us feel he must be an idiot, despite his 'qualifications'.
How anyone would want to trade the goodwill and respect of their neighbours for an evening of gross noise pollution beats me. Our road is a very settled community, people tend to arrive at the family- rearing stage and stay on whilst the children grow up, in our case for 47 years so far. We all know each other by name, and although we don't live in each others' pockets, we would all help each other out if needed, which makes it all the more out of character for someone to appear to be so selfish and alienating.
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LadyA
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by LadyA » Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:45 pm

I don't understand the police not coming out. They would here, for something like that. Not a lot they can actually DO, practically speaking, except give a warning to turn the noise down (and watch for anyone getting into a car if they have "reason to suspect" the person has been drinking. Or, they can just set a mandatory checkpoint nearby, and breathalyse every single driver that happens along, for drink and/or drugs, both illegal and prescription, if they would impair their driving.).
Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself!
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rick
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by rick » Tue Sep 04, 2018 9:31 pm

Environmental Health, the Police and everything else in the public sector has been cut to the edge of 'essential' functions. We all know the reasons, some reasonable, essential even, some not so good. We were talking the other day about situations where the Police had to stay out of it until a violent crime had actually happened despite every observer knowing they were just waiting for the horse to bolt. Everything has become very tightly legally expedient in the local authority.
You should have a party yourself Marigold, and not invite them! :) ... a really classy one with champagne until dawn :)
bigyetiman
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by bigyetiman » Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:59 pm

You should have started loud music up at 6am the next morning, except you were probably all asleep.
Very tricky when you are friends with his wife, and you have all got along well.
A classy do with champagne and a 1920's theme would go down well, we could all come with various noisy hens, see how he copes with that.
Another strange thing is when people have guests who depart late, why do they have to make so much noise doing so, and also their cars all seem to "grow" extra doors which have to be slammed loudly
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Tweetypie
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by Tweetypie » Sat Sep 08, 2018 12:55 pm

I felt your anger and pain reading this post, Marigold. Last year, at the top of our usually quiet lane, I heard extremely loud music and went to investigate. Not 1, but TWO parties going on in separate barns. One was a 40th disco and the other was a house warming party (next to us). Previously we had an older couple with no kids, so it was peace. Now we have a couple with a barking dog and a young boy who loves kicking his ball against the fence for hours.

Asking you to contact the council is a joke and a typical response. What good is notifying the council after the event? I would have been tempted to let down their tyres! Some people are so selfish. Grrrrr
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Hen-Gen
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Re: Neighbourly relations

Post by Hen-Gen » Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:13 pm

If you can’t beat em, join em. I’m always happy to drink someone else’s booze!🍷🤮
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