If pets kept a diary...

The place to chat, fluff your feathers, and let off steam!
User avatar
chrismahon
Forum Guru / Wise Bird
Posts: 4991
Joined: Tue May 17, 2011 10:29 am

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by chrismahon » Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:20 am

We've found that moving a coop 20 yards resulted in some standing where the coop was, looking very confused. First night the dimwits have to be carried to the new location. Our Bluebell hybrid was always one of them.
Icemaiden
Full Member
Posts: 741
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 12:05 am

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Icemaiden » Mon Feb 03, 2020 11:16 pm

Hello all. Tufty here.
My great, great, great, great grandma read this thread, so rumour has it... I wouldn't know as I wasn't even an egg back then...

3rd February, 2020. The goosegrass is starting to grow again, the songbirds are singing to us & Mum's inspecting our combs & the size of our overnight poos in the hope that we might be thinking of laying soon. Personally I've got better things to do- ground to scratch up, dustbaths to have...

It's been a stressful few months. First we had scaly tailed invaders eating our food while we were in bed at night. Then our plastic feeder disappeared altogether! This scary metal contraption appeared, which Mum expected us to go near. No chance! When she stepped onto the flat bit at the bottom, its huge metal jaws opened. When she took her foot off, the jaws closed, hoping to get a bite of chicken head, I'm sure... It was terrifying!

Our feeder didn't come back and worse still, our corn & mealworms stopped being scattered in the run. Mum said that we had to eat out of the monster (she called it a "treadle feeder") and that if we were hungry enough, we'd use it... Easy for her to say. Would she eat Brussels sprouts in Hollandaise sauce if they were in the jaws if a crocodile? I don't think so...

We all went on hunger strike. After a few weeks Holly let her have a cuddle, to show her how much weight we'd all lost...

Nearly three months on, Holly and Hope are brave enough to approach the monster and step on its foot & eat. Nadia & I lie in wait for them to placate the beast, then we sidle up next to them & grab some layers' pellets out of it's open jaws. It's got us so stressed that Nadia's moulting again- she grew her winter coat in early autumn but she's l lost it all again:-( She does look funny without her tail- like a rumpless cream leg legbar hybrid!!

We don't have the uninvited guests anymore & there are no rat poos for Mum to clean up, but I'd still rather have our old feeder back. It's true that a bag of layers' pellets now last 50% longer, but that's partly because we're too scared to eat them :-(
Chickens are a girl's best friend (though diamonds would be nice too!)
bigyetiman
Full Member
Posts: 1071
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 8:27 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by bigyetiman » Wed Feb 05, 2020 4:43 pm

Fantastic tale Margaid,
Izzie's diary

Oh here we go, 5.30am, still dark and the newbies (8 months) have got to start crashing around to lay an egg. I am 6 and never been fond of getting up early, there is a whole day to lay an egg in, and please do it quietly and why have you got to try and get in the Guinness Book of Records by seeing how many of you can get in one laying box.
Now the Maran next to me is awake and is deciding to have a wash and brush up, just what you want a foot in your ear, or a draught from flapping wing. Now they are clucking away, " my eggs bigger than yours". Well have I got news for you, I tried that malarkey when I was young and silly, resulted in something unpleasant called a prolapse. Next thing I knew everyone else whom I thought were my friends found my vent interesting, luckily I got away and hid. Then chicken mum grabs me and several people who I had never seen before started poking around, how embarrassing, words like, not too bad, that will go back with time. Yes also involved meagre rations, solitary confinement and something called piles cream. Then you find out your "friends" have completely forgotten who you are. Still that's all behind me now literally.
Once it gets light little miss " I can hang onto my poop all night" will go out the hole thing and do a huge pile just outside so I have to tread in it, it's not smart, not funny, and do you know how annoying it is to get it on white feathers.
Oh well I am wide awake now, suppose I could start to have a wash and brush up, takes a while to keep looking this good, hold on all gone quiet, lets get some sleep before all those damn rooks and jackdaws leave the woods and wake me up again, at least food appears then and everyone rushes out in a mad dash to fill their faces
User avatar
Hen-Gen
Full Member
Posts: 698
Joined: Mon May 15, 2017 5:12 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Hen-Gen » Wed Feb 05, 2020 5:21 pm

I don’t know why everyone hates me. I live with my sisters, my mother, my aunties and my grandmother. But I get bullied at every opportunity and have lost half my feathers. Some say that I must have done something to anger my family. I spend most of my time sat on the perch because if I drop onto the floor then the bullying resumes. My comb has faded and I no longer lay. My owner has threatened to put me into solitary confinement but I think this would make returning to the flock even harder.
This week there was a calm sunny day and I was able to go out and peck at the grass but since then we’ve been confined to barracks. I suspect it won’t be long before I become the basis of minestrone soup. The way I feel about it having studied the great chicken philosophers is that our time on Earth is short and I will go gentle into that long goodnight.
A cottage on an island in the eye of the storm
User avatar
Tweetypie
Full Member
Posts: 493
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 8:44 am

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Tweetypie » Wed Feb 05, 2020 7:00 pm

Right girls, Matron hen Mabel speaking...

Being as the big mother hen has failed to give us any greens for 3 days and made us eat tomatoes with white powder, we need to take action.

Barbie, you crap in the nest box, as that's your usual speciality when you don't get your favourite place on the perch anyway.

Sindy - you can lay one of your enormous eggs and peck a hole in it, as you know Father hen won't eat it once it's contaminated with your bad breath.

Miss Muffet, being as you're the prettiest, just stand by the treat box, breathe in and try to look emaciated.

If all else fails, we need to go on egg strike and basically just crap all over the paving slabs that Mother hen hates hosing down in the cold. :-)10
User avatar
Marigold
Moderator
Posts: 6516
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:27 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Marigold » Wed Feb 05, 2020 9:51 pm

Poppy here.
It's been quite nice and peaceful here for the past couple of months. The Boss and my Dad have both been quite ill, the weather has been horrible, and none of us have wanted to go out much. I've been able to sleep on the sofa quite a lot of the time, and when I do get asked to take them out for a walk, it's usually been down the road and round the estate. This is preferable to going round the fields, because a) I get to catch up on the latest p-mail, especially rich on Fridays, which are dustbin day, and b) because I don't get my feet and tummy so wet - we Norfolk Terriers have very short legs and long hair under our tums, so on wet muddy days I have to wait for my breakfast whilst She faffs about filling the sink with water and washing it all off. Very undignified, though the towel rub afterwards is quite nice. Sometimes, still muddy, I manage to sneak into the living room before She notices, and then I sit on His chair because He's much nicer to me than she is, he never tries to brush my tangles or clip my nails, and also he doesn't notice the mud so much.

The trouble is, She's now feeling a lot better and wanting to Get Out And Do Things. This is involving a Fitness Drive, longer walks, and - oh horrors - Going On A Diet. She weighed me on Monday and said I had put on 400grams over the winter, what with less exercise and more lovely snacks, and that Something Had To Be Done About It. All my snacks seem to have diminished, down to tiny measly little token offerings, and even what I think of as my proper meals seem to be less than I'm used to. She says she will weigh me again next Monday, 'To see if there's been any improvement' - but I think I shall be thin as a wafer by then. What's a dog to do?
Margaid
Full Member
Posts: 1344
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:27 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Margaid » Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:43 pm

Oh Poppy sweetie you must do what the Boss says or you'll end up looking like a roly-poly pudding. 400g is a lot of extra weight when you're only little, especially if you have very short legs. I'm Smokey, an elegant grey fluffy cat and my mummy keeps putting a wire gate across the doorway so I can't get out of the room. I have very long legs but I broke my left femur and it hasn't healed up yet. I want to go out in the garden - I was doing that last week but mummy says I have to stay indoors so I don't run around too much. I had to go to the vet for more photographs of my leg to see if it was healing properly. I thought the lady there was very nice but it was she who told mummy I had to stay indoor for 4 weeks but at least I don't have to stay in the crate any more. I still go in there because that's where mummy keeps my loo, but I'd rather go in the garden. If I'd been a good girl and hadn't kept escaping whenever I had the chance my leg would probably be healed by now so learn from my mistake Poppy and be a good girl.
User avatar
Tweetypie
Full Member
Posts: 493
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 8:44 am

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Tweetypie » Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:53 pm

Oh I laughed at that. It reminded me of that voltarol advert where the dog digs a hole in the garden and hides it, so he doesn't have to suffer going for walks. :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqFupRXh174
bigyetiman
Full Member
Posts: 1071
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 8:27 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by bigyetiman » Thu Feb 06, 2020 4:10 pm

Izzie here.
I would go with the flow Poppy, otherwise you could end up having to go to the vet like a neighbours dog and she came home with tales of special food which tasted like cardboard. It may take a while but much better than waddling along and being the butt of other canine jokes, or the horror of ending up with some illness and having something called medicine forced down your throat.
My chicken mother said you once spent an afternoon in Wales sitting on her lap and you were very cute.

Bonnie here;
Our chicken mum has been busy moving ornamental planters, ( we prefer calling them raised snack areas) to a corner of the garden, says a bad storm is coming this weekend and we need to batten down the hatches whatever this is. Now us new girls have asked the old girls about this and they have said you will find out it involves lots of wind. Not the sort you get from too much greens then.
Now can anyone out there shed light on this storm thing and advise us accordingly, can we go out, do we need supplies indoors, and should we act odd just to worry her indoors ?
I am sure there are lots of you out there with experience of this. The older girls are just obsessed with something called the beast of the east that they managed to live through. Which I gather means they can cope with anything, well bully for you, we want practical advice now
User avatar
Marigold
Moderator
Posts: 6516
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:27 pm

Re: If pets kept a diary...

Post by Marigold » Thu Feb 06, 2020 7:39 pm

I'm Nigella, and my friend is called Iris. We've decided to go online to ask for your help and advice, as we think we may be in a very tricky situation.
We've been living with three other hens, Pearl, Coco and Lily. We all arrived here together a long time ago, and apart from Lily's bossiness we've been quite happy really. The food is good, especially at the end of the day when our human brings treats, and our run is comfortable and sheltered from wind and rain. We have rewarded the human with lots and lots of eggs, but somehow, lately, this has become more difficult to do. Coco has had a mucky bum for a couple of months and had to have her bum feathers all cut off, which lets in the cold. She hasn't laid any eggs for weeks and weeks. Lily has begun to lay weird eggs with one flat side and a neat little hole on the flat part. Pearl has never laid very big eggs and lately they've had such thin shells that they often break in the nestbox, (which is great as they are then a nice little snack for the next girl in there.) Iris and I are still laying sometimes and our eggs are quite nice although a bit fragile.

This afternoon, we overheard a worrying conversation between our human and her other human. She was saying 'I could do three of them tonight when it gets dusk, and then leave the other two until next week to see if they lay at all.'

We all went to bed at the usual time, and were just going to sleep when the coop opened up. Our human put her hands in and lifted Coco out, closed the coop, and we heard them going away. A minute after that, we heard a flapping noise, which lasted a few seconds and then it all went quiet.

Then the coop opened again, and Lily was lifted out from where she was sleeping in the nestbox, (naughty girl.) The same thing happened; Lily disappeared, there was a flapping noise, and then silence.

When the coop opened a third time, I had woken up properly and was getting worried. This time, Pearl disappeared, there was another flapping noise, followed by silence.

So here we are together, Iris and I, all alone in this big coop, with no idea where our friends have gone or what has happened to them. Where do you think they've gone?
Without Lily to tell us what to do and where to go, how will we know when to get up in the morning?
Do you think they've gone on holiday without us?

Can anybody out there give us some advice, please?
Post Reply

Return to “The Dustbath”