More from the bus

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bigyetiman
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More from the bus

Post by bigyetiman » Wed Jul 04, 2018 7:11 pm

This is probably the funniest thing I have heard. Two lovely gay guys get on a bus regularly and one runs a beauty/hairdressers salon. He was relating to his partner this tale
" Jim's sister came in today, she is not the prettiest girl more like a Russian shot putter and wants us to do her hair, make up for her wedding, gets a picture out of her bag and says I want to look just like this. It was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman"
"What did you say to her , I mean you're not miracle workers"
"I said you do know I am not a real fairy don't you"?
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Hen-Gen
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Re: More from the bus

Post by Hen-Gen » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:09 pm

Not so sure that it ticks all the 'political correctness' boxes but it made me laugh.
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Marigold
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Re: More from the bus

Post by Marigold » Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:36 pm

Excellent!
Pity you can't do the accent on here.
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Marigold
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Re: More from the bus

Post by Marigold » Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:19 am

This one belongs on here, since it's just arrived in my email from BYM's O.H. (Thank you, Ruth!)
There were photos of the geniuses quoted, but they wouldn't copy.


Subject: Fwd: Mensa Members or government employees


WHEN YOU FEEL STUPID, READ THIS!

You'll feel much better after this....
And then read it again; you’ll begin to think you're a Genius

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington DC
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's all the impurities in our air and water that are doing it"
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL Quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2018 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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LadyA
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Re: More from the bus

Post by LadyA » Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:14 am

:D :D :D
Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself!
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Hen-Gen
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Re: More from the bus

Post by Hen-Gen » Thu Jul 05, 2018 10:28 am

Either Miss Alabama is making a profound religious statement or .................!

I'm surprised at Al Gore.
Margaid
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Re: More from the bus

Post by Margaid » Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:01 am

I had that one too Marigold - it's gone off to all my friends who would appreciate it!
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