Where is everybody?

The place to chat, fluff your feathers, and let off steam!
Margaid
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Margaid » Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:17 pm

For purely personal reasons I don't like February, at least not until after St Valentine's Day, and this year has been true to form! That's why I keep looking on the forum - in the hope I'll find something to interest or amuse me. I don't necessarily expect you all to be out pottering around your hens, but no bus stories BYM? Sorry to hear of all your hassles Chris - why does everything go wrong at once? I'm glad in a way that circumstances forced me to give up poultry keeping after only a couple of years so that I was never faced with the "cull or not to cull" dilemma - and I wouldn't describe you as a useless pensioner either Marigold!
At least something's going right Hen-Gen :-)17
Evie
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Evie » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:42 pm

How about we all post some funny stories to take you through February, Margaid? :)

I think the funniest thing my husband ever said about the chickens is that since we have meat birds and I like breast meat, we should have all female chickens :mrgreen:
The only other hilarious comment I've heard of was made in response to a friend of mine posting a photograph of a boiled egg online (enjoying their first egg of the season, sort of thing). The comment was "you are eating a chicken's period!!" :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

I don't have anything as daft to tell like some of the bus stories but there are plenty of stupid comments from our neighbours, e.g. in order for an egg to have a really dark brown shell, it must have come from a really dark brown hen... That's after seeing my fluffy silkies (who don't lay fluffy eggs), our green and blue eggs (without there being any green or blue hens), the multicoloured speckled hens laying plain white eggs etc... But then again my neighbours are p.r.o.p.e.r.l.y stupid :roll: :-)10
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Marigold
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Marigold » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:51 pm

Husband has listened to, if not shared, my current dilemma about flock reduction. He came into the kitchen at the weekend, just as I was getting our lovely Waitrose organic roasted chicken out of the oven.
'Who are we eating today, then?'
MrsBiscuit
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by MrsBiscuit » Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:14 pm

:-)08 Most eggscellent stories!

I don't really have anything to post, life is quite quiet. I don't miss having poultry at one level as I'm not mentally or physically prepared for how to keep them comfortable in the extreme temperatures we get in the summer. I do miss them really, but I know my current life (on the move a lot) precludes any livestock or pets. I cheer myself up by knowing at some point in the future that will change, and in the meantime I live vicariously through other people's animals.

I quite like February; with the snowdrops its the harbinger of Spring. I dislike November intensely, all those fallen leaves and grey skies, but I have to say Portugeuse autumns are a dream, lots of sun, but cool enough to work and grow stuff.

The only remotely amusing thing I can think of recently is a) I fell off a toboggan in front of a crowd of people and b) that a neighbour is very proud of his wine this year. Apparently 3 of them drank 5 litres a few days ago with no ill effects. 'Its all pure, you see, all natural' says the neighbour. 'True' says OH, who helped with the grape harvest, and then watched the neighbour clean out the machinery with a filthy rag 'Its full of bird sh*t, dirt and dust from the yard, and its been mixed together with A's mother's walking stick which has been everywhere the dog has been....'

I had better not tell you about our own olive oil. Have you ever seen a sack of olives which has been left 3 days whilst you carry on picking? The sacks are clear plastic and become very humid when full. Last year we had an infestation of olive fly (I am sure it has a proper name, its pretty common) and the warmth brought out the maggots. It was like looking at something out of Dr Who....

But we live to tell the tale :D
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dinosaw
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by dinosaw » Mon Feb 12, 2018 4:05 pm

Not sure it's funny, beyond the nowt funnier than folk angle, but this is something that always causes me and Mrs Dinosaw to shake our heads at each other in puzzlement.

At our local Caffe Nero they have decided that they only want to attract a certain type of customer, to drink there you must pass a test to show a minimum level of intelligence and perseverance. This fiendish test takes the form of.......... a door with a slightly sticky latch. We often sit and watch the prospective customers as they try and navigate this colossal challenge to their brain power. The devious secret to entering the promised land of large americanos and almond croissants is to pull the handle ALL THE WAY DOWN and then PULL. Boy does this stump a lot of people!. You get the easily discouraged who limply pull the handle down, fail to open the door and then walk off. Then you get the people who walk off, have second thoughts and then come back for another crack, this time pushing at the door and causing another failure, they then walk off. You get the folk who put their shoulder right into the door trying to ram it open and others who lean back with all their might, trying to pull it off it's hinges. Many times they will put their faces up to the window and look inside in wonderment at the geniuses who have managed to gain entry. Normally they are put out of their misery by such a person who waltzes up and enters with no problem, as they have the secret knowledge of how to use a door handle. They follow them in, smiling sheepishly, I now know why an increasing amount of people leave doors open.

Our wine is drinking now, 16 months on and it's surprisingly good, English red!, who would have thought it. I'm in the opposite boat Mrs B, wish I could travel but can't because of the birds, can maybe do a maximum of three nights away.
Evie
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Evie » Mon Feb 12, 2018 5:38 pm

You'd expect Caffe Nero to fix that handle, then, as it's clearly not working as it can reasonably be expected to... :-)19 Breathing in caffeine particles all day doesn't appear to encourage the staff's thinking skills? :D


We've had trouble with our neighbours and called the police a week ago. Since then, our neighbours close their curtains in the evening when they switch their lights on, they never closed them before but since the police visit they clearly don't want us to be able to look into their home when it's dark.
Not that it helps much, they're net curtains... :mrgreen:
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Marigold
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Marigold » Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:07 pm

Go on, do tell - what did they do????
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dinosaw
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by dinosaw » Mon Feb 12, 2018 7:59 pm

Evie wrote:You'd expect Caffe Nero to fix that handle, then, as it's clearly not working as it can reasonably be expected to... Breathing in caffeine particles all day doesn't appear to encourage the staff's thinking skills?
It's been like that for three years, so in some ways your right, the staff must have seen people struggling. On the other hand, it's been that way for three years and 8 out of 10 people seem to manage to gain entry at the first attempt, so how hard can it be?. They've probably called out a locksmith who is one of the 8 who has no problem opening it.
Marigold wrote:Go on, do tell - what did they do????
Yeah, you can't just leave peoples imaginations to run wild, especially on this forum!!
bigyetiman
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by bigyetiman » Mon Feb 12, 2018 8:26 pm

Well I got accused of sexism today, a woman telephoned the office to make a complaint about me all because one of our lady drivers forgot to take her duty box with her after her meal break and I yelled out "Precious you left your duty box behind" She deemed that to be sexist and no way to speak to a lady, most disrespectful
I would loved to have seen her face when they told her that is the drivers name. She thought it very amusing as it is a common African name.
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Hen-Gen
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Re: Where is everybody?

Post by Hen-Gen » Mon Feb 12, 2018 8:45 pm

Love the anecdote, bigyetiman. I always used to say that political correctness was just good manners but no longer think that. It's now about conforming to some crypto-fascist dogma.
There was a weight lifter years ago called Precious McKenzie. I bet if you met him in the street and shouted out 'how are you, Precious' it would cause a stir!
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