Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes

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Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes

Postby Margaid » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:02 pm

Apparently the following are the top ten modern Christmas Cracker Jokes identified by the TV channel Gold

see here for the full story.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/d ... ?CMP=fb_gu

The top 10

1. Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government.
2. Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.
3. What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.
4. Kim Jong-un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.
5. Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying “moron” to him.
6. Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot.
7. Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal.
8. Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new cabinet.
9. What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? “Good game, good game.”
10. Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance.
Margaid
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Re: Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes

Postby bigyetiman » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:39 pm

Excellent, loved them
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Re: Modern Christmas Cracker Jokes

Postby Icemaiden » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:44 pm

:D
Chickens are a girl's best friend (though diamonds would be nice too!)
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