They walk amongst us.

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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby valeriebutterley » Sat Jul 29, 2017 7:50 am

Lovely!
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby Marigold » Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:42 pm

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour in a restricted area, sir."
The driver says "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 30, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting, his wife says "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls "Could you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns at the man and says "And I notice you're not wearing your seatbelt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I did have it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so I could get my licence out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well you didn't have your seatbelt on. You never wear your seatbelt when you're driving."
And as the officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks
'YOU STUPID WOMAN, WHY CAN''T YOU JUST BLOODY WELL SHUT UP?'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby Margaid » Sat Aug 26, 2017 6:27 pm

Love it!
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby bigyetiman » Sat Aug 26, 2017 7:52 pm

Brilliant, just what I needed at the end of a very long day
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby bigyetiman » Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:35 pm

Today on the bus a girl was on her phone very loud voice and ordered a bra. So we all knew the size and colour. She then gave out her name and full address followed by all her credit card card details. Then wondered why the woman behind pointed out that she had just opened herself up to identity theft big time, and then said I mean the bus driver looks foreign and dodgy to me. I speak perfect estuary English.
The girl just couldn't see how anyone could use this info as she was only ordering a bra
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby rick » Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:34 pm

"... so I just need to ask you some questions for security;
"What colour is your bra?"
"Blue"
"Correct! What can we do for you today Miss Roberts?"
It's worrying that the passenger thought, with a whole bus full of possible fraudsters, that using the bus driver as an example of a 'dodgy person' was cool. I suppose you had your hands free and the inclination to be writing all that down while driving?
If so - spill the beans :)
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby Marigold » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:40 am

I wonder what visions she was conjuring in people's minds. Is it an offence to distract the driver when on a bus?
As for the 'foreign and dodgy-looking bus driver,' some people just don't appreciate style when they see it!
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby Hen-Gen » Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:28 am

As my soulmate says to me, 'I can handle global warming, over population and species extinction but slappers and dweebs drive me to violence'.
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby Margaid » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:46 pm

Quite agree Marigold - on style appreciation that is.

Hen-Gen does "slapper" have the same meaning it had in my youth, and what (or who) is a dweeb?
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Re: They walk amongst us.

Postby bigyetiman » Sun Sep 10, 2017 5:37 am

Thanks Marigold, some people just don't appreciate style do they?
Yes it is an offence to distract the driver, no hands free, it is instant dismissal if you use a phone on a bus, even if it is stationary. We could download the CCTV and get the details though
Most of the foreigners on the bus probably didn't speak English so she was probably safe on that score, so even if they had been of a criminal mind.
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